Starting anything new is difficult. This HUGE pivot and shift you weren’t expecting has likely been especially difficult. It’s an instant life change. It’s a straight up new normal.

What makes it so tough is that you are trying to comprehend the diagnoses, but needing to know TONS of important life-changing information and executing it right NOW. There is no chance to slow down, press pause, take the pain, or place “this” card in the discard pile. It’s a HUGE deal right now, but as each day and year goes by, the intensity will lessen because you are doing the hard work now to know how to best care for your child.

You care deeply so you are already doing an amazing job. If you didn’t, we’d be more worried. ;)

Our hearts hurt with you as you have to be a part of the group that you never wanted to be in.
Our hearts are with you as you endure the piercing pains that go along with this diagnoses.
We see you in the fact that you are powerless in a situation you wish you could take from one of the people you love most in this world.

Lovingly, to be successful, we cannot be a victim to our circumstances (although we feel we have every right to be.) Yes, we need to continue to have grace and space in our grief and learning situation. But we also need to keep moving forward. 

These next couple of months will really be around the theme of finding your rhythm and routine with this new normal. It will continue to be a building in confidence with our cares for our little ones, remembering to offer ourselves grace and space as we (and others) work through this.

From here on out, our goal is to accept and learn to play the cards we were dealt. We can “not like” the cards given to us, but, lovingly, it doesn’t change our reality and truth of the situation. Yes it stinks, but your kiddo needs you more than ever right now. 

This isn’t to put more stress and pressure on an already stressful situation, it’s to start to be OK with the grief
at the same time as moving forward. We call this truth the BOTH/AND.

We can BOTH feel angry AND grateful.
We can BOTH be in denial AND still cry as we offer the multiple daily doses needed.
We can BOTH know they deserve better AND be powerless to take it away. 
We can BOTH teach them how to view this in a healthy way AND see a counselor to learn the skills ourselves.

With this diagnoses, it will invite a lot of good things but hard things too. Relationships will change. Some will get stronger, some will stay silent, some will hurt like heck, and some new ones will blossom. Changes are everywhere, but you can and will do this. You already have up to this point and this last month has been one the hardest parts.

Our goal is figuring out how to play the cards we are now dealt in life. We have to learn what cards we have, size up each situation, and then “play” what is best for our kiddo. Sometimes we make the right call, sometimes we might look back and see there was a better call,  but the important part is that we try, learn, and execute better in the future. You can do this and remember you are not alone.